• SonyaStewart

What is NPD?

A while back I met someone who displayed very questionable behaviours, & I didn’t understand what it was about, I found information on the internet & it suddenly clicked that what I was seeing was an individual with narcissistic traits. 

Below is a description of what that means:

Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding.

Traits to look out for is as below:

  • Lack of empathy.

  • Selfishness

  • Projection of issues onto others.

  • Non accountability for poor actions.

  • Discard without any explanation. 

  • Non apology for poor behaviour. 

  • Never questioning themselves, when there are clear issues. Gaslighting. (Description: Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person covertly sows seeds of doubt onto another person, making them question their own memory, perception, or judgment, often evoking in them cognitive dissonance and other changes, including low self-esteem).

  • Non communication is prevalent.

  • When they do communicate, it's all about them.

  • Mind games. 

  • Toxic behaviour.

  • Triangalation.

  • Lovebomb / discard - like you don’t exist, which comes from their lack of empathy. 

  • Winning at all costs, even to the detriment of your relationship (whatever form it is, which shows up as insincerity.

  • Inability to be truthful.

  • Tries to create unnecessary conflicts (attention seeking).  These traits can also be worsened if they take a lot of alcohol etc. (Addictive traits as well).   You can know someone for a long time but the mask eventually slips.  They can mirror you & you never question it, tell you what you would like to hear, but then their actions over time, show opposite eg future faking.  Important thing to realise if you are dealing with someone with these traits, is to protect your energy & distance yourself.  NPD’s will never question their own behaviour, just project & blame others.   They basically ‘fuel’ on your energy, as they have not learned to ‘fuel’ themselves, which makes you a ‘supply’ to them.  I have read many stories on people who have undergone very difficult times with someone with NPD.  It is also important to understand that usually NPD is the result of childhood trauma, & is a ‘coping mechanism’.  The issue is, so set in, unless they receive help or request help, they never get to the root of the issue internally.

It’s an important topic so that people have a good understanding, & don’t have to go through such a long process with someone who is unable to show any kind of empathy.

I hope you find this topic of interest & that it may help someone who is going through a similar situation or confusion.   Of course you are welcome to comment. 

    You Tube link for awareness:  https://youtu.be/rLCPDYt1wYk 

    2nd You Tube link by Sam Vaknin: https://youtu.be/euGhNMifaw8